Oh boy, who would have imagine this?
Radio Monaco has been crazy, but Radio Montréal.. oh God, I don’t know if I’m ready for Le Castellet, who knows what’s gonna happen?
Anyway, let’s focus on the radio messages, shall we?
George Russell - “Do we need these tyres again?”
“You need to repeat.”
George Russell - “Do we need these tyres again or can I practice pit entry?”
“Practice pit entry.” (FP2)
“Radio check in turn 3.”
Carlos Sainz - “Yeah, radio is fine.”
“Loud ad clear for me.” (FP1)
The traditional message for the radio check is here, but… hey, turn 3, some issues with the radio there? Maybe that’s why Vettel did the mistake?
Okay, no spoilers.
To Lewis Hamilton - “Keep an eye on Vettel, not sure what he’s up to.” (FP1)
Oh, you want to tell me that this begun during FP1 already?
Lewis Hamilton - “It was really tight to get in to our box. The Ferrari… we were still too close to the Ferraris.” (FP1)
Ferrari’s fans already think this is a conspiracy, but this is not the only one: there’s a bigger conspiracy going on from last here, and it keeps going since last year.
Kimi Raikkonen - “Okay, there’s that animal running around the track. Before turn 6, in the middle of the track. I don’t know what they’re called.” (FP3)
Kimi, if you want to know what’s their name, just ask Romain.
The French driver may have avoid all the beavers going around the Canadian track, which was very dirty because of all the adjustments they did to build the new Paddock.
Max Verstappen - “Track is insanely dirty.”
They did work so hard, but… did they forget to control the garages?
Romain Grosjean - “I don’t know what I got on the right tyre, it’s causing vibration.”
“Okay hopefully we can clean up, it can be a piece of the garage floor.” (FP1)
Charles Leclerc - “We need to be careful, every time going out of the box I have the tarmac of the box on the tyres, it’s so bad.” (FP3)
At least no animals were tortured this time.
Formula 1 engineers and mechanics only love to torture our drivers and be spiteful.
George Russell - “The right side of my seat.. one of the belts, is not right comfortable.”
“Okay, right, we’ll check that.” (FP1)
Kimi Raikkonen - “Do we have some new cables here, on the right hand side, because I’m hitting something all the time. I’m sure it wasn’t there before.”
“Okay, we’ll have a look.” (FP1)
Carlos Sainz - “Eh… box for aero balance check.”
“That’s okay, we’re on max, do you want to drop front wing?”
Carlos Sainz - “Oh no, i wanted to go up, not worst, it’s fine.” (FP1)
But above all, what did you do to Alexander??
“We need to get going Alex.”
Alex Albon - “I can’t.” (he says with a suffering voice)
“We need to go. We need to go for timing.” (FP1)
The issues are not over: the Monaco Grand Prix has been famously known for the missing temperature window for Ferrari. The Italian team could not find the ideal temperature to make the tyres work properly.
Mattia Binotto declared the team had fixed all their issues, tyres included.
Sebastian Vettel - “The rear’s are melting away.”
Charles Leclerc - “Over heating as crazy.”
“Uh, copy understood.” (FP2)
The Canadian Grand Prix can also be defined by all the complaining radio messages spread all over sessions.
“Mode 1 please Max.”
Max Verstappen - “No, can I try just the normal mode?”
“Yeah. What was the problem with that, Max?”
Max Verstappen - “It wasn’t fluid.” (FP1)
Nico Hulkenberg - “I have a problem with the rear tyres.”
“Copy that Nico.”
Nico Hulkenberg - “I need to box soon, it’s getting a bit dangerous.”
“Copy Nico, stand by.” (FP2)
Nico Hulkenberg - “Why did you lead me to such a traffic in sector 1?”
“Remember we’re doing a prep-lap.” (Q1)
Kimi Raikkonen - “Can you ask them to put the blue flags on the steering wheel?”
“I am afraid we can’t do that.” (Race)
Max Verstappen - “Yeah, unbelievable, so many cars. Unbelievable, I have no grips in all the chacanes.” (Q2)
But nothing can beat our new segment, the special Haas Compilation, mixed by DJ Gunther.
From the mechanical issues…
Kevin Magnussen - “It’s spinning to the left a little bit on the braking.”
“Understood, we’ll investigate.” (FP1)
Romain Grosjean - “Guys the brake pedal is going.”
“Okay, we’re looking on it.” (FP1)
Kevin Magnussen - “It’s terrible!”
“Balance is terrible? Tyres are terrible?”
Kevin Magnussen - “Yeah, just.. no rear.” (FP2)
Romain Grosjean - “There’s no rear end.” (FP2)
Romain Grosjean - “Pedal is going very low, very soft. The rear is now gone.”
“Okay we’ll check that, understood.” (FP2)
… to traffic issues…
“Okay, Hamilton 5 behind.. this was the last..”
Romain Grosjean - “No, I need to know those informations, for f**k sake!” (FP1)
Romain Grosjean - “Mate the delta speed is far too big.”
“Okay understood the next car is Bottas.”
Romain Grosjean - “Yeah, it’s a blind corner, they can’t drive that slow in that part.”
“Watch for Bottas behind, 2s.” (FP3)
… to Turn 1 accident..
“Are you okay?”
Romain Grosjean - “Yeah, I’m okay, but I picked all the front wing from the guys. They just played their lives in Turn 1. Ridiculous.”
“Is your front wing okay?”
Romain Grosjean - “Yeah, I think I didn’t touch anything, just the damage from the guys.” (Race)
Lance Stroll also decided to make Romain’s life easier..
Romain Grosjean - “Maaate fffffffff…” (FP2)
But the issues are not over..
Kevin Magnussen - “I think the track is very… poor.”
“Okay, that’s okay, right now you’re P1.” (Q1)
Can we end the qualifying session here?
Ah, they both wished so.
Romain Grosjean - “Keeev! Kev!”
“Red flag, VSC.”
Romain Grosjean - “Mate, that’s our luck, that’s our luck.”
“Was on for a very good lap mate, that was going to be a good lap.”
Romain Grosjean - “I can’t believe it. I can’t f**king believe my luck mate!” (Q2)
K-Mag's crash drives his team mate up the wall
Romain Grosjean - “Sorry boys, deserved better today, let’s hope tomorrow is a better day.” (Q2)
On the other side of the pitlane, instead, there’s a man who never complains, never speaks, never wants anything.
They used to call him the “woodman”.
“Ok Valtteri we’re gonna stay out and take the flag so we can practice braking for turn 1.”
Valtteri Bottas - “There’s no need for that.”
“And did you make any contact with the wall?”
Valtteri Bottas - “No.” (Q3)
“Are you okay Valtteri?”
Valtteri Bottas - “All good, all good.” (Q3)
The woodman acted like this all weekend long, until…
Valtteri Bottas - “The rear is quite weak… but it’s gonna be better with the hard.” (Race)
Race strategy spoiler, I repeat, race strategy spoiler. Even Ferrari couldn’t do worse. Or maybe could…
If Bottas spoiled his race strategy, Lewis Hamilton was nervous all weekend long.
Lewis Hamilton - “Sectors where we need to improve?”
“Sector 2, sector 3. To Vettel, 2 tenths faster in sector 1, half a tenth sector 2, Vettel half a second faster in sector 3.” (Q1)
Lewis Hamilton - “What tyres are the Ferraris on?”
“Also medium tyres, Vettel P1, you’re P2, just three hundreds in it.” (Q2)
Lewis is obsessed by Ferrari: does he fear them, or just wish to join them?
“Yeeees, yesss, pole position! Great man!!”
Sebastian Vettel - “Uuuuuuuh! Yes, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes, pa pa pa pa pa pi, yuuu-uh, yes!”
“Awesome lap, awesome lap!” (Q3)
I guess he wanted to join them, after this.
Lewis Hamilton - “Seems we have a problem.”
Lewis Hamilton - “Can you confirm we have a problem?”
“So no, you don’t have a problem.” (Race)
And we know how much he loves to complain.
Lewis Hamilton - “I don’t much life left in these tyres.” (Race)
“Okay Lewis, we don’t have the gap, we’re going to extend as much as we can.”
Lewis Hamilton - “I think these tyres are *****.” (Race)
“Lewis gap to Vettel 1.2s, he has been given Engine 1, that was couple laps ago.”
Lewis Hamilton - “Understood, keep the pressure on.” (Race)
Lewis Hamilton - “He’s faster than me, it’s hard to get close.” (Race)
Lewis Hamilton - “Do we have any more power? Cause I got dropped out on the high speed.” (Race)
In the meantime, while Hamilton needed support, Charles Leclerc was the one who was comforted.
“And red flag, stay positive, red flag, stay positive. Stay positive.”
Charles Leclerc - “And box this lap, right?”
Charles Leclerc - “Yeah, of course, sorry.” (Q2)
Another guy who needs support is Lando Norris.
Lando Norris - “My brake pedal went long.”
“Okay, can you keep going?”
Lando Norris - “I think so, I have to go straight on. Still long. Something’s smoking on the rear. Rear brake duct smoking.”
“We have very hot rear brakes.”
Lando Norris - “I got a puncture. Rear right puncture, something happened. F**k! I’m gonna have to stop.”
“Pull over to one side, please. Really sorry mate.” (Race)
I really hope that McLaren is not there anymore.
The other McLaren went from a great race to a hard one.
“Okay, Carlos, good job.”
Carlos Sainz - “Vamos, vamos!”
“Vamos, good.” (Race)
Carlos Sainz - “Yeah, it’s creepy, so hard to be consistent. I try my best.”
“Understood, keep your focus really high, you’re doing a good job.” (Race)
Okay, got this, you want to read all the radio messages fro Hamilton and Vettel.
Guess we don’t need a Hit Parade this time. Here they are!
Everything started when Sebastian Vettel lost his car and went on the grass in turn 3.
Lewis Hamilton - “He just came on the track so dangerously.”
“Copy Lewis, we’re on it.” (Race)
Then, the race direction gave Sebastian 5 seconds penalty.
And Furious Sebastian came alive.
“We’ve got a 5 seconds time penalty on unsafe re-entry. Head down, head down. Hamilton three seconds behind..”
Sebastian Vettel - “I had nowhere to go, seriously, I had nowhere to go, I did see him.”
Sebastian Vettel - “I had to go through the grass, and you come back, he has amazing grip, where the hell am I supposed to go? I have grass on my wheels. It’s his fault if he decides to go that way. If he goes to the inside he’d have gone past me.”
“Okay, stay focused, copy that, stay focused. Ten laps to go.”
Sebastian Vettel - “I am focused. But they are stealing the race from us.”
“Copy that.” (Race)
"Where am I supposed to go?"#CanadianGP 🇨🇦 #F1 pic.twitter.com/gWjWNmdOE4
— Formula 1 (@F1) 9 giugno 2019
And while Lewis celebrated a victory crossing the line behind the Ferrari..
“Get in there Lewis, nice work mate. That’s a win for you.”
Lewis Hamilton - “Fantastic job guys. That is not the way, naturally, I wanted to win, but I would’ve been past if it wasn’t for that wall there, so… thank you so much for your continued support and confidence in me. Love you guys.”
“Cheers Lewis, well deserved mate. Real thoroughly solid weekend.” (Checkered flag)
… Sebastian still had something to say.
Sebastian Vettel - “Nonono, guys, no no no, not like that. Seriously. You need to be an absolute blind man to think you can go through the grass and then control your car. I was lucky I didn't hit the wall. Where the hell am I supposed to go? This is a wrong world I tell you. This is not fair. Great crowd, great race, ragazzi grazie.”
Mattia Binotto - “Bene, Seb, hai vinto, you win the race on track, that’s more important, you are the winner for us, for the team, we appreciate your effort. Keep your head down. Stay calm.”
Sebastian Vettel - “I am not staying calm. This is not fair. It is not fair. I'm angry... and I think you know why. And I have the right to be angry. I don't care what people say.” (Checkered flag)
And while Sebastian went on doing his show, the only winner was the sweet, little, cute Charles Leclerc.
Charles Leclerc - “Copy, but he still won, right?”
“He will be P2.”
Charles Leclerc - “Oh f**k.”
“Officially will be P1 Hamilton, P2 Sebastian and yourself P3.”
Charles Leclerc - “F**k ok. But we’re back in the game. Big shame for the penalty, you all deserved to win, very good race on our side of the garage. Hopefully next time we’ll be better in qualy.”
“We will be for sure.” (Checkered flag)
How sweet this is?
Ferrari has appealed to the Race Direction decision, but this is not the only appeal that FIA has to deal with.
Another driver did the same.
Romain Grosjean - “Can you report that to the race control?” (Race)
Why no one listens to Romain? I know he complains too much but please! We can’t wait to know what’s going to happen.
And since we’re talking about a Has driver…
Our Special Prize: Honestly, what are we doing here? Is assigned to… Gunther, my hero.
Kevin Magnussen hit the Wall of Champions during Q2 and crashed his Haas on the main straight. That means the Haas mechanics worked all night long to repair Kevin’s car.
Kevin Magnussen - “This is the worst experience I’ve ever had in any race car ever.”
“None of us are happy about this pace, the guys stayed up all night to fix the car.”
Kevin Magnussen - “I know, it’s just..”
“Yeah, it sucks, I know.”
And then, the one and only opened the radio and spoke.
Gunther Steiner - “It’s enough now, this is Gunther, it’s enough.”
Kevin Magnussen - “What does that mean?”
Gunther Steiner - “What it means is that for us it is also not a nice experience. It’s enough now that’s what it means, enough means enough.” (Race)
Kevin apologized after the Checkered flag, but I can’t wait to see the full story on the second season of Drive to Survive!
“Checkered flag, Kev.”
Kevin Magnussen - “Guys, sorry man… I know you are just frustrated as I am. And… yeah, sorry.”
“Copy Kevin, we’ll figure it out together.”
Kevin Magnussen - “And the guys in the garage, big apologies, you done great as always.”
“Copy Kevin, we’ll see you soon.” (Checkered flag)
I told you that this was going to be an epic show.. thankfully, someone celebrated and we want to wave goodbye with these team radios.
“Uh, awesome job mate, P4, well done.”
Daniel Ricciardo - “Ahahah! Yeeeees! F**k yes! Ahaha, cheers boys!” (Q3)
“That’s a bit frustrating, but you did a fantastic job today, mate. Absolutely excellent. Thank you very much.”
Nico Hulkenberg - “Thanks, well done team. Nice way to bounce back. Finally putting the car where it belongs.” (Checkered flag)
Lance Stroll - “YEEEES BOYS! C’mon! Yes! Awesome race, awesome, at home baby!” (Checkered flag)
Lance, you didn’t win, stay calm, c’mon.